On Laugh Out Loud, you will find a collection of some of the funniest jokes available on the Internet. They have been carefully selected by myself and by site visitors such as yourself. They have been sorted into several categories for your convenience. I hope you enjoy your stay!
Gates in Hell
Bill Gates died in a car accident. He found himself in Purgatory being
sized up by God...
"Well, Bill, I'm really confused on this call. I'm not
sure whether to send you to Heaven or Hell. After all, you enormously
helped society by putting a computer in almost every home in the world
and yet you created that ghastly Windows 95. I'm going to do something
I've never done before. In your case, I'm going to let you decide
where you want to go!"
Bill replied, "Well, thanks, God. What's the
difference between the two?"
God said, "I'm willing to let you visit both
places briefly if it will help you make a decision."
"Fine, but where should I go first?"
God said, "I'm going to leave that up to you."
Bill said, "OK, then, let's try Hell first."
So Bill went to Hell. It was a
beautiful, clean, sandy beach with clear waters. There were thousands of
beautiful women running around, playing in the water, laughing and
frolicking about. The sun was shining, the temperature was perfect. Bill
was very pleased.
"This is great!" he told God."If this is Hell, I REALLY
want to see Heaven!"
"Fine," said God and off they went. Heaven was a high
place in the clouds, with angels drifting about playing harps and singing.
It was nice but not as enticing as Hell. Bill thought for a quick minute
and rendered his decision.
"Hmm, I think I prefer Hell" he told God.
"Fine," retorted God, "as you desire." So Bill Gates went to Hell. Two
weeks later, God decided to check up on the late billionaire to see how he
was doing in Hell. When God arrived in Hell, he found Bill shackled to a
wall, screaming amongst the hot flames in a dark cave. He was being burned
and tortured by demons.
"How's everything going, Bill?" God asked.
Bill responded - his voice full of anguish and disappointment, "This is awful,
this is not what I expected. I can't believe this happened. What happened
to that other place with the beaches and the beautiful women playing in
God said, "That was the screen saver".